


The Day His Heart Died

by JLHall (jlhallares)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Death, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 19:25:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlhallares/pseuds/JLHall
Summary: "Our death is in the cool of night, our life is in the pool of day. The darkness glows, I'm drowning, the day has tired me with light. Over my head in leaves grown deep, sings the young nightingale. It only sings of love there, I hear it in my sleep."~Heinrich Heine





	The Day His Heart Died

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my friends in Fan-Fiction Writers of Solavellan, who helped beta this drabble so quickly when it wouldn't leave me alone.

The door creaked open slowly waking Solas instantly with the sound. Abelas stood just within his doorway, face full of remorse. Solas’ heart skipped a beat, and his body suddenly felt cold. He clenched his jaw tightly feeling the dark, sickly feeling of dread spread through his system like poison. 

Door left ajar, Abelas moved towards him hesitantly holding a missive in his hand.

Solas slipped from his bed and took the missive from him with a trembling hand. Gesturing for Abelas to leave, he ignored his hesitancy to leave and stared at the parchment held between his fingers afraid of what he would read. 

Abelas stood in front of him for only a moment longer before giving him a sharp nod of acknowledgment. Without a word he turned and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

Solas sat down on the edge of his bed and opened the note tentatively and started to read. His whole body began to tremble uncontrollably as he came to the end. Crushing the paper within his hand the words replayed through his mind endlessly and his world burned around him.

 

“ _ My Lord,  _

_ The Inquisitor was captured by slavers in Trevis. Unwilling to submit to them, she was killed in battle before we could assist.” _

 

The missive instantly engulfed in flame as Solas’ eyes clenched tightly shut.

“No, no, no,” he chanted as he felt his heart being ripped from his chest.

 

Sliding to his knees, his hands wrapped around his head as tears ran unchecked down his face, and the torn sobs echoed through his chamber. His chest filled with an indescribable pain as the place where his heart used to be was now a gaping hole. Solas’ body shook with his grief as he knelt on the cold stone floor of his chamber. His anger grew as his sobs grew and his aura pushed out furiously through his room decimating everything in its wake. The loud crashing sounds of destruction brought Abelas rushing back into his chamber.

Eyes glowing molten silver, furious at the intrusion caused Abelas to stop in his tracks knowing Fen’Harel’s wrath could easily kill him. Abelas closed the door swiftly before any others foolishly followed him into the room and moved to where his King knelt slumped on the floor. He knew that his wrath would not be subtle as he had nothing to lose now with the Inquisitor dead.

“There is more,” Abelas said quietly.

Solas’ eyes moved to him angrily before swiftly standing and grabbing him by the throat lifting him a few inches from the ground.

“My heart is  _ dead _ …how much more could there be?” He questioned menacingly his voice thick with pain.

Abelas remained calm under the assault and held Solas’ gaze unflinchingly.

“The Tevinter has requested that you meet him in the abandoned Skyhold.”

Solas released him quickly and turned away, Dorian.

“Do you know why?” he questioned him trying to keep his crushing pain from immobilizing him.  

“Only that he has something for you,” he replied rubbing his throat.

Solas glanced at him over his shoulder for a brief moment before nodding his agreement.

“Then I will go,” he replied decisively taking a shaky breath.

“My Lord, this could be a trap,” Abelas replied quickly.

“Then everyone will die,” he replied coldly and moved towards his armoire to dress for travel.

“You are not concerned that this could be…” Abelas began and stopped at the frosty look his King gave him.

“If Dorian is saying that he has something for me, it is because she swore him to give it to me. I do not fear him and neither should you,” he said angrily before strapping his black leather armor chest plate on. 

Solas slipped the small necklace the carved Halla beneath his shirt and held back the rush of pain with the action as it was something she had given him during their trip to the Winter Palace. The memory began to swamp him as Abelas’ deep voice pulled him back to the present before he began to cry again.

“But my Lord,” Abelas began slowly.

“Enough!” Solas yelled angrily. “Tell the others that I am leaving for Skyhold.”

Abelas bowed to his back and left. He knew as soon as he had read the missive what would happen. All hope for the rebirth of the Elvhen was gone with her death. Now only anger and retribution remain in the man they called King and the Evanuris stood not a chance with his now merciless...dead heart.

 

 

Dorian paced the hall nervously knowing that he would come.  _ Damn you Aria for making me swear to do this _ , he thought slowly wearing a path in the dusty rug that lay on the floor.

“You really think he will come?” Bull questioned calmly from his seat on an old table.

Dorian’s eyes flashed at him in annoyance at being asked the same question again. He loved the man but sometimes his Ben-Hassrath training really grated on his last nerve.

“Yes, as I told you a dozen times before. He will come,” he replied angrily.

Bull held up his hands in surrender and sat with his hands in his lap.

“Do you really think this is a good idea…I mean telling him?” Bull asked quietly.

Dorian turned to answer him when both of them froze at the sound of Solas’ voice.

“Tell me what?” Solas questioned as he entered the dusty Grand Hall.

Turning quickly, Dorian took in the absolute change in the Apostate he had known. He saw that gone was the bald hobo look, in exchange for shaved sides and long reddish brown braids gathered at the back. His eyes took in the well-made black leather traveling armor and knee-high matching boots. He was not slumped or hunched over as he recalled was his typical posture. No, his shoulders were squared, back straight while the long black cloak slightly fluttered around him. 

The man he saw now entered the room with an air of confidence and entitlement. Solas did not wear his staff and Dorian began wondering if he even needed the tool that most mages required.  _ How had I been so blind? _ He questioned himself again for the millionth time.

“Tell me what?” Solas repeated enunciating each word with the clipped tone of impatience.

Dorian pulled out the sealed letter from beneath his cloak and held it out towards him.

“She wrote everything in here,” he replied frostily.

Solas took the letter from him and eyed him carefully before letting his eyes slide towards Bull.

“You came alone?” Bull questioned sounding slightly surprised.

Solas held his gaze as he answered.

“I did not  _ need  _ them,” he replied coldly as he stared at the letter in his hands.

Bull shook his head and folded his large arms over his enormous chest. Still a cocky son of a bitch, he thought bitterly.

Dorian cleared his throat pulling Solas’ gaze back to him and spoke with a tone filled with anguish and anger.

“She requested that I wait until you have read the letter, so read it already so I can leave.”

Solas’ eyebrow rose at the angry tone Dorian used before finally giving him a brief nod. Ripping open the envelope, he pulled out the one paged letter and began reading. His eyes instantly watered at the flowing script that was her writing and swallowed hard against the lump of pain in his throat as the fresh feelings of loss overtook him.

 

 

_ “Ma'lath, _

 

_ There is so much I wanted to tell you and couldn’t and I am sorry for that. If you are reading this then I am gone from this world to await your arrival in the next. I need you to know that I have never stopped loving you, or waiting for you, so what I must tell you now is very difficult. _

 

_ You have a seven-year-old daughter. _

 

_ She is just like you and a little bit like me, but definitely mostly you - stubborn. She will need you now more than anything, Solas. I have told her about you since she was born and her blue eyes, that are so much like yours, have always shown intelligence and understanding when I spoke of you. _

 

_ I know you are probably angry thinking I didn’t even try to tell you about her. You must know that I did try. I tried the day you took my arm to save me but you would not listen. I should have tried again, but I was angry with you and committed to proving you wrong.  Hopefully, you will forgive me as I have you for hiding so many things from me. I guess we are both good at keeping our secrets, secret ma’lath.  _

 

_ I named her Nuvena, she has been my hope since she came into this world and I know she will continue to be for you. _

_ Take care of her my love; she is our one and only real treasure in this world and she needs you. _

 

_ With all my love, _

 

_ Aria” _

  
  


Dorian watched while Solas silently cried reading her last words to him, and knew at that moment he couldn’t be angry with him any longer. Not after seeing him so broken from her death. 

The last five years after he had taken Aria’s arm and then disappeared again had made him angry and bitter. He had watched her fall apart again like she had when Solas had left the first time.

He had been so angry that Solas had left his best friend an empty shell of the woman she had once been, and the only thing that had kept her going was their shared daughter. In his opinion, the Ancient Elf didn’t deserve the love Aria had given him and then continued to give him until she took her last breath. 

His hatred for him had grown thinking he hadn’t cared about her at all. Seeing him like this; broken, distraught, and empty was not what he expected from the proclaimed Elvhen God.  _ He really had loved her _ , he realized waiting for him to finish.

“Where is she?” Solas asked quietly with a trembling voice.

Dorian swallowed past his own lump of grief at his now dead friend and answered him somewhat thickly.

“With Varric in the Free Marches, it was the only place truly safe.”

Solas nodded absently now having the information and folded the letter slipping it inside his shirt. Finally looking at the man he used to travel with, he held his hand out to him.

Dorian gazed at the outstretched hand for a moment before grasping it just below the elbow and held the elf’s watery blue, anguish-torn gaze.

“Thank you,” Solas said thickly gripping his arm tightly before releasing it.

Bull cleared his throat pulling Solas’ attention to him.

“Don’t you want to know how she died?” He questioned him, his tone cold and laced with anger.

Solas’ eyes narrowed on the Qunari as they had never really seen eye to eye and chosen to just ignore each other.

“She is  _ dead _ , what more is there to know?” He replied angrily.

Bull snorted and slid from the table he had sat on.

“You would say something like that,” he said humorlessly.

Solas held his stare coldly, restraining the urge to kill the Qunari as he waited for him to finish.

“It is not necessary, Amatus,” Dorian said quickly dashing a warning look at Bull.

Dorian was very apprehensive with the angry look Solas gave Bull.  _ Why must the big-horned idiot provoke the God that can turn him to stone...has he forgotten the bloody statues we found at the Crossroads?  _

“No! He should know that she died looking for his fucking ass,” he said angrily.

Solas flinched with the words and closed his eyes.  _ Vhenan…why? Why would you do this when I told you not to? _

“She got word that some of your agents were in some area of Nevarra, and left to intercept them so she could try to get a message to you.”

Solas’ stomach heaved warningly realizing that was where the initial missive had come from. Trying to gather what was left of his composure he found that he had none and finally just looked at Bull as the broken man he was now without her.

“Did she tell you why she wanted to contact me?”

Bull held his gaze coldly and unfolded his arms.  _ Finally, this son of a bitch shows some emotion. _ Bull didn’t care if he had just watched the man cry, he wanted him to suffer like Aria had since he left her.

“She wanted you to meet your daughter…she is a mage, like you. She only had to die to get you to come out of hiding so it could happen.”

His admission only made his stomach clench tighter knowing that Aria was a rogue and wouldn’t know what to do with a magical child.  _ She needed me, and I failed her...again. _ Closing his eyes he nodded his head at the information and suddenly turned away from them. Swallowing past his own pain he cleared his throat while staring at the stone wall.

“Thank you for the information,” he finally said and moved towards the door to leave.

“Fen’Harel enansala,” Dorian said quickly to his retreating back causing Solas to turn around to look at him.

Dorian held his gaze steadily and repeated himself.

“Fen’Harel enansala, you will need to tell her this when you meet her so she knows it is you.”

Solas held his gaze slightly surprised and finally nodded slowly his understanding and left the room for the Eluvian hidden in the bowels of the keep.

Dorian rubbed his face and felt Bull’s large hand on his shoulder.

“He really did love her,” Bull said softly.

Dorian nodded his head in agreement with his lover.

“I would never have thought he did…but he really did,” he replied wiping at the silent tears rushing now down his cheeks.

Bull pulled Dorian to him and wrapped his large arms around him, pulling him in close.

“She told you, Kadan. Solas loved her it was just complicated,” he replied soothingly rubbing his large hands over his back.

“I just couldn’t believe that he would let her go if he loved her as much as she said he did…not like that,” he replied shaking his head before burying his face into the man’s large chest.

“Was she wrong?” He questioned softly and Dorian snorted.

Pulling away, he wiped at the tears in annoyance.

“No, even now she still proves me wrong…it is frankly damn annoying,” he said with a touch of sarcasm making Bull chuckle.

  
  


 

Solas made his way through the Crossroads emotionally torn, broken, and utterly angry with Aria...and himself he was honest. He had failed her...horribly.

_ Aria…damn you! A daughter? Why hide her? Why? Damn you… _ his mind was a jumble of anger and anxiousness.

_ A child created between us, like me and her…this…she _ …he couldn’t complete his thoughts as he found the Eluvian that would lead him to Kirkwall. Taking a deep breath he unlocked the mirror and stepped through locking it behind him.

Glancing around the small room, his eyes fell on the small elven woman lying in her bed sleeping.

_ Ah, yes, Merrill _ , he thought calmly before moving through her small house without making a sound. 

Merrill’s eyes slowly opened as a cloaked figure slipped from her mirror and then turned to close it behind them. She felt the presence of powerful magic as the figure walked by the foot of her bed and she suddenly realized  _ who _ was in her home.

_ Mythal enaste! The Dread Wolf has come for his daughter and he is in my house.  _ Merrill scrambled from her bed and followed him into her small sitting room illuminated by the soft glow of the fire.

“You are here for her?” she questioned softly her hands folded in front of her nervously.

He got to the front door and stopped at the sound of the timid voice behind him. Solas glanced at her over his shoulder for a moment and recognized her fear of him and took a small breath for patience and released the door handle.

“Yes,” he replied and Merrill smiles brightly before taking a hesitant step forward.

“Good,” she said quickly. “She is waiting for you,” she replied hurriedly, surprising Solas.

“Waiting for me?” He questioned her.

Merrill held his gaze for a brief moment before looking at the floor nervously as she explained herself to the Dread Wolf.

“With Aria…gone, she knew you would come for her.”

Solas gazed at her hiding his surprise with her answer and instead nodded his head at her and turned towards her front door to leave.

“Don’t let her forget her,” Merrill said quickly stopping Solas in his tracks. “Her mother, that is…” she finished twisting her fingers together anxiously. 

Solas turned back to her and held her gaze steadily. Merrill could not look away from the torn blue gaze that stared out of his grief-stricken, pale face.

“I will not let our daughter forget her mother,” he said his voice thick with his own fresh pain.

Merrill gave him a tentative smile before he left her small dwelling. 

Solas stepped outside and saw the Vhenadahl in the middle of the small courtyard as he closed the door quietly behind him. Glancing around carefully, he saw only a few elves in the small courtyard gathered around the tree in prayer. Pulling his cloak around him tightly, he moved towards the steps that led away from this repressed part of Kirkwall and felt a small hand on his leg as he tried to pass the tree.

“Will you not stop to pray?” The small child’s voice asked him timidly making him stop.

He glanced down at the small child that had stopped him. She had dark brown hair and soft blue eyes. Her clothes though clean were tattered and worn around the edges, she was what you typically saw in the Alienage of any city. It hurt him to know that this is what he had done to the people…her poverty and inability to ever become more than what she was now was his fault.

Kneeling down he took her hand holding her soft blue gaze.

“Only if you help me,” he replied.

The little girl smiled and keeping hold of his hand, led him back towards the dead looking tree he had tried to walk around. Solas knelt next to the child as she folded her hands together and began to silently pray. He bowed his head and folded his hands mimicking the child. The fresh loss of Aria overtook him quickly. Knowing that she was gone from his world intensified his feelings of emptiness. 

He had no one to actually pray to but kept his position and wished he did as anger rushed through him with the loss of his true love. 

_ Spirits why? Why would you take such a pure spirit from this world? Why would you wish my wrath…my unending pain on the people? Is this what I was meant to be? Destruction? What about my daughter? Will she also become this…empty shell of a being without her mother? How am I to raise her feeling as I do? What am I to do now without her? _

Solas was completely at a loss to how he could continue.  _ What did he do now? _ His thoughts cried again as tears silently slipped over his pale cheeks. His world was barren without her in it. Without her, there was no color, no joy to light his way. Her love, faith in him, these were what kept him moving forward. 

_ She had promised him that she would fight for him…how could she do that now? _

Wiping the tears from his face quickly, he stood. The small child gazed up at him and gave him a kind smile that made him want to start crying again. Her innocence made him want to beg her forgiveness for what he had done and knew he did not deserve such kindness. Moving quickly away from her and the damned tree he headed for Hightown.

  
  


 

Varric listened to Dorian’s message echo from the sending crystal.

“He is coming for her.”

Varric closed the small case around the crystal and slipped it into his pocket. _Of course, that selfish bastard is coming_ … _why wouldn’t he?_ _Now that Aria is dead, he has no reason to hide._ Rubbing his face he turned at the soft pat on his back.

“It’s okay Uncle Varric, I miss her too,” Nuvena said softly in her childlike voice.

Varric pulled her into a hug and let out a heavy breath.

“You are supposed to be sleeping,” he replied.

Varric felt her pull away from his embrace and let her go. Glancing at him with eyes older than they had a right to be, she raised her hand as ice formed quickly making Varric step back a little nervously.

“Ah, I think I understand what happened,” he said.

_ It wouldn’t be the first time the child had woken because of something her magic would do while she slept. _ The sharp knock at the door jarred him from his thoughts and he turned quickly towards the door. He glanced down at Nuvena as another brisk knock came. Her blue eyes gazed up at him and he could see she knew it would be him. He almost wondered if she could sense him...some kind of mage thing.

“You wait here,” he said calmly though he felt nothing close to calm and walked towards the door.

Opening the door there was a tall, cloaked figure in his doorway. Squinting his eyes trying to see the face beneath the hood to make out the features but stopped when he spoke. He recognized the voice that came from the shrouded figure.

“Master Tethras,” Solas greeted waiting for the dwarf to invite him in.

“Solas,” he replied unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

The silence drew out and Solas finally sighed in annoyance.

“I am aware that you were expecting me, may I enter?” He finally said. Varric stared at him for a long silent moment before stepping aside so he could enter.

Once the door was closed, Varric turned and led him to the sitting room just beyond the door and Solas stopped as if he had just been punched. He slipped the hood of his cloak off, studying the child that stared at him with his own eyes.

Her red, untamable hair and freckles dusting over her small nose were so much like her mother, his throat tightened and a small choked cry escaped as tears began to fall. She had the same dimple in her chin as he did. He noticed that the shape of her jaw and ears were also similar to his. He knelt down as the child silently studied him and took a shaky breath.

“Fen’Harel enansala,” he said his voice thick and unsteady.

Nuvena ran towards him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

“Baba, I knew you’d come” she whispered.

Solas held her tightly to him weeping into her small shoulder.

Varric watched the emotional first meeting of father and daughter. Maker, he wished Aria had gotten the chance to see this, experience this moment as she had always wanted from the moment Nuvena was born.  

**Author's Note:**

> Vhenan - my heart  
> ma'lath - my love  
> Mythal enaste - Mythal's Blessing  
> Fen’Harel enansala - Dread Wolf Blessings


End file.
